中文版序言 英文版序言 谢辞 如何阅读本书
第1章帮助孩子面对他们的感受
⊙如何面对孩子的负面感受？很简单，接受他们的感受。
⊙我们和孩子是 有效 不同的个体，不能用我们的感受代替孩子感受。
⊙感受没有对错之分，所有的感受都是被接纳的，但某些行为必须受到限制。
⊙孩子的感受被接纳了，他们才能开始集中精力改变自己的情绪。
⊙帮助孩子面对他们感受的四个技巧： 1．全神贯注地倾听 2．用“哦……”“嗯……”“这样啊……”来回应他们的感受 3．说出他们的感受 4．用幻想的方式实现他们的愿望
第２章鼓励孩子与我们合作
⊙孩子不愿意合作，是因为他们和我们在需求上存在矛盾。
⊙家长如何处理自己的负面情绪。
⊙尊重孩子是合作的开始。
⊙鼓励孩子与我们合作的五个技巧： 1．描述你所看见的，或者描述问题 2．提示 3．用简单的词语表达 4．说出你的感受 5．写便条
第３章代替惩罚的方法
⊙惩罚孩子，实际上剥夺了他从内心深处对自己错误行为的反省过程。
⊙不要把孩子看做麻烦的制造者，要把他们当做解决问题的积极参与者。
⊙代替惩罚的七个技巧： 1.请孩子帮忙 2．明确表达强烈不同意的立场（但不攻击孩子的人格） 3．表明你的期望 4．提供选择 5．告诉孩子怎样弥补自己的失误 6．采取行动 7．让孩子体验错误行为的自然后果
⊙当孩子屡教不改时，家长解决问题的五个步骤。
第4章鼓励孩子自立
⊙家长培养孩子的一个*重要的目标，就是帮助他们成为一个独立的个体。
⊙让孩子自己做自己的事情，亲自经历各种问题带来的挣扎，在自己的错误中得到成长。
⊙让孩子依赖感降到*少，让孩子成为有责任感的人。
⊙鼓励孩子自立的六个技巧： 1．让孩子自己做选择 2．尊重孩子的努力 3．不要问太多问题 4．别急着告诉答案 5．鼓励孩子善用外部资源 6．不要毁掉孩子的希望
第5章学会赞赏孩子
⊙在家里得到赞赏的孩子，更愿意为自己设立较高的目标。
⊙赞赏需要谨慎，善意的赞赏有时会带来意想不到的拒绝。
⊙做父母的一个重要职责是学会如何及时称赞孩子做对的事情。
⊙赞赏孩子的三个技巧： 1．描述你所看见的 2．描述你的感受 3．把孩子值得赞赏的行为总结为一个词
第6章让孩子从角色中释放
⊙父母如何看待孩子，会影响到孩子们的行为。
⊙做一个真实的自己比做一个“妈妈的乖女儿”更重要。
⊙永远都不要低估了你的话对孩子一生的影响。
⊙让孩子从角色中释放的六个技巧： 1．寻找机会让孩子看到一个全新的自己 2．创造机会，让孩子另眼看待自己 3．让孩子无意中听到你对他的正面评价 4．以身作则 5．记住孩子那些特别的时刻 6．当孩子又按照原来的方式行事时，表达你的感觉和期望。
第7章融会贯通
⊙改变孩子，需要将所有的技巧都用上。
⊙这一切是为了什么？
| Zone | Weight | Delivery Fee (RM) |
|---|---|---|
| West Malaysia | First 3.00 kg | 8.00 |
| Extra 1.00 kg | 1.80 | |
| East Malaysia | First 1.00 kg | 15.00 |
| Extra 1.00 kg | 15.00 |
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